They say it's your birthday

·  Do what feeds your soul -There are a multitude of pressures in the world that will steer you towards and away from interests and pursuits.  If weasel urine (beer) and football feed your soul, then you're doing yourself and your friends a disservice by avoiding it because they want you to.  If musical theatre feeds your soul, then you harm yourself by buying in to societal gender identity nonsense and ignoring it.  If a typically non-productive undergraduate major feeds your soul, you'd better go after it with everything you have. 

·  Family can be friends - Friendship is defined by someone who will stand by you unwaveringly.  Someone who will have no fear of correcting you when you start down the wrong path but who will refuse to leave you there.  Someone who will use all of their resources to ensure your success and for whom you will give all of yours.  (Aside:  I mean really, I sprung so many so expensive things on this guy...I can't believe how tactfully he handled how maddening I had to have been.)  Friendship is unconditional and though always changing, never fading.  This man has taught me that family, parents in particular, can perhaps demonstrate friendship better than any other relationship.  I am as proud to call him my friend as I am to call him my father.

·  Making mistakes happens - It is ridiculous to live a life in fear of failure.  Everyone, at some point, will make a galactic mistake or twenty.  The real character of a person is dependant upon their response to those mistakes.   Perfection, and even perfect responses to mistakes is impossible.  But fulfilling your obligation to own up to failure is a cornerstone of a good person.  Realizing that you are just as capable of making the mistakes that others have made against you also breeds empathy.

·  Meet each person, not a group of people -  My father has introduced me to some of the most eclectic people in the world.  I'll never forget (coming from a southern Baptist background) my day-long state of shock when I sold tobacco and alcohol to the pastor of the church (and good friend of Dad's).  I don't know that there's a culture on earth that Dad has not encountered in some way and demonstrated that the stereotypes about it just aren't worth paying attention to.  Every single person has a story.  The fabric of those stories is what makes up our communities.  If you discount someone's story because of ANY preconceived classification...well...your rug is going to be missing some crucial threads.  It may even fall apart.  Talk to the rabbi (and even be scared that their synagogue will fall when they march around it 7 times).  Befriend the irritating wannabe rock star; she's got some great stories.  Spend time getting to know individuals and every single one of them will hold a surprise for you.

·  Never whore yourself - There is not enough money in the world for you to have to do something that makes you genuinely unhappy.  If a customer makes your life miserable, then your obligation is to fulfill your part of the bargain to the absolute best of your ability and then cease doing business with that person.  If a boss or a mentor is directing you towards something that makes every day a chore instead of a joy, it's time to find something else.  This isn't to say "never do things you don't like."  There are plenty of times where the right thing to do is to persevere.  You have control over the long-term goals in your life.  Do not sandbag them for brief financial security.

·  There is never an excuse for not helping another human - Growing up, my Dad and I very rarely talked about ideology or politics.  Somehow, somewhere, we ended up coming to the majority of the same conclusions about things.  Which, considering the strange placement of our convictions across the political spectrum is quite amazing.  The foundational principal of my guiding ideology I see evidenced in him on a daily basis - Your primary obligation as a human is to help other humans.  Whether it be short-term (picking up some dropped groceries) or long-term (responding to global crises) aid, there is never a valid excuse to not follow through with your actions what you spew in words.  Several huge examples of his behavior in this regard are...quite evident.  I admire his humility in bringing another friend into his home who needed a little hand.  His example makes it very difficult for me to say, "I'm too busy," or "I don't have the cash either."

I wouldn't want to give a wrong impression of my Dad.  These dramatic things are lessons learned over years of his successes and missteps.  I've learned a lot of other very important lessons from him that I use on a daily basis:

• Mountain Dew and Hostess Cupcakes is fuel enough for anything you need to do between the time you awake and 3:00pm.
• Never, EVER let something near your forehead reflect light when playing paintball against an evil preteen son.
• A bachelor's kitchen is fully stocked if there's mayo and meat (bread optional.)
• Altitude sickness and the flu is not an excuse to not ski
• Just do what she wants.  Really.  You'll be better off for it.
• If you happen to run into a co-worker dressed in leather at the horse races...don't mention it at work the next day.
• There is no church name that cannot be turned into something funny.
• There are few things better than making music with friends.
• Being a "warrior monk" is a pretty sweet gig.
• And many, many more.

So here's to you, Dad.  At 48 you lived more than many of with wizened old profs I work with on a daily basis.  There are more people in the world who owe their happiness to you than you'll ever know.  I look forward to the LONG DISTANT day when I can share your lessons with my own children.

Have a wonderful birthday, Dad.  I hope the candle in your hostess cupcake doesn't melt too fast.